Betrayal Partner Trauma
Have you experienced the devastating effect of broken trust and betrayal trauma in your relationship?
Has your heart been broken after you learned about your partner’s infidelity?
Have you felt like an earthquake hit after you discovered your spouse is engaged in compulsive sexual acting out behaviors that has negatively affected your life?
Maybe you have suffered monetary loss due to your partner hiding financial spending habits? Have you experienced a lack of emotional intimacy due to intimacy anorexia? Were you blamed for unmet needs then later discovered your partner’s involvement in sexual cybersex activity, prostitute and a secret life separate from your own?
Has this discovery created turmoil in your life, sleepless nights, low self-worth, anger, brokenness, sadness, thoughts of feeling crazy and confusion? Since learning about the secret sex life of your partner, have you lost your sense of self-worth then looked at yourself and asked what is wrong with me? Are you experiencing deep pain, abnormal thoughts and behaviors?
If this sounds like you, betrayal partner relationship trauma counseling is for you. I can help you.
Betrayal relationship trauma is a specific type of trauma therapy for partners. It occurs when a person in the relationship abandons or betrays the other person who they have developed an attachment to in the relationship. The response that follows comes after learning their partner, who they thought was a place of safety and was committed to them, has now shattered this belief after the discovery of secretive sexual acting out behavior. What they once thought was real had been built on lies and deception. Your partner had a secret life without you and your relationship together was nothing but a lie. The history is shattered and you are shocked and flooded with grief. Research shows that betrayed partner symptoms are like that of post-traumatic stress disorder. When infidelity and sexual betrayal takes place, the emotional response replicates a traumatic event like shock, repression, denial, flooding, anxiety, depression and more. The safety and security in the relationship is destroyed. A crisis state occurs.
It is important to know that healing and recovery is possible.
Healing is available and I want you to know you are not alone. I am a certified partner trauma specialist and EMDR trained. I have experience and expertise in helping partners through this time of crisis. I am dedicated to your healing and will provide you with a safe place to talk about your pain. I will educate you and provide you with healthy coping skills so you can grieve your loss and make new adjustments in your life. I will work with you, as I have with other betrayed partners and support your recovery so you can heal emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I feel deceived. I should have known. How did I miss this?
The truth is, sexual betrayal is about hiding. Behaviors are planned to protect the secret, private world. Often in hind sight, you recall behaviors that seemed off and times you might have felt left out in some way. You might have noticed uncalled for rage, unaccounted for expenses and wondered where the money went. There may have been times you asked where he had been and there was no real explanation. You may have been reassured that all was okay. Sometimes there is a feeling that something is little off in your relationship but you just cannot identify what is really going on.
How long does it take to heal from my partner’s betrayal?
For each person healing is different. Each person decides for themselves if they are ready to become stronger and because of that, there is not a set time to heal. Your healing depends on the years married at time of discovery and the severity of prior trauma events. Healing can take longer if after the original disclosure, there is an additional disclosure of sexual acting out behavior and you are reinjured. Patience in healing is important. You can heal and I will walk beside you through trauma therapy and the recovery process.
Can my marriage be restored after being sexually betrayed? I don’t trust anymore.
Restoration comes when both individuals decide to restore their love and commitment to each other. It is important to seek help from a trained professional who can help with guiding you through a planned disclosure of your partner’s sexual activity outside of your marriage. A certified betrayal trauma specialist can help with support and resources through the reconciliation process.
This is hard work and a slow process. You both must invest in the healing process. Rebuilding shattered trust takes time and includes accepting responsibility and behavior change.
Why is working with you different?
I am Rebecca Phipps, a licensed professional counselor, experienced in couples counseling and a certified partner trauma specialist for spouses of sex addicts. I understand your pain and the devastation you are feeling. Over the last 12 years, I have helped individuals and couples heal through their unbearable painful experiences of sexual betrayal, intimacy anorexia and distress in relationships. I will offer you a safe place and listen to you without judgement. I offer a spiritual perspective as this may be a refuge and source of strength for you. I will provide you with immediate support, education and additional resources so you can heal. If you are stuck in the healing process, I want you to know there is hope and I will help you. The old can be made new.
What Do I Need to Do Next?
If you are a betrayed partner and are ready to begin the healing process, I am here to help you. Call me for a free 15-minute telephone consultation or to schedule your first appointment at: 469-213-6400.
To see Barbara Steffens’ talk on Partner Betrayal Trauma – click here
EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing treats anxiety, anger, quilt, depression, uncomfortable memories, unpleasant emotions, and post-traumatic stress reactions. EMDR is a non-drug, non-hypnosis psychotherapy that can help you move through these areas so they are less distressing and lose their power. I am a trained EMDR therapist and I want to help you. See the EMDR video below to learn more about EMDR.